Although Quakers have their ways of letting people know what we are about, those who have ever attempted this challenge will know that doing so in just a few simple words is not at all easy. At times we would seem very much more complicated than we would like and so there is a definite moat to our castle.
I can remember once being taken completely by surprise when a professional football player asked me what a Quaker was. My response was to start telling him all the things we are not, which I think Quakers do sometimes. He probably went away with an understanding that we are a peaceful lot, and unlikely to rob banks for a career. Since it seemed I had let him down, a few days later this football player picked up an envelope in his post. Quaker literature instead of the usual fan-mail must have come as a bit of a surprise. I could imagine him wondering where to put it on the team coach although since the next away fixture was at Newcastle United, he had a very good introduction to Friends and plenty of time on the journey up north to read it!
It would seem to me a most valuable resources that Quaker Castles can get literature to support them.
A few days ago I also received the Quaker equivalent of fan mail. There was this mysterious pile of brown envelopes placed on a chair just outside the Meeting Room with an invitation for any visitors to take one. Most Meeting Houses have a rack of leaflets, although not everyone has the confidence to take all that that they need straight away. A very thoughtful, gesture made me instantly feel valued. Instead of entering a room full of silent people, I felt among Friends.
At times it is easy to forget that castles can be very intimidating places to the outsider. If you are not met with some kind of a welcome there might just as well be a portcullis come crashing down before you. In one Meeting I know, elders get there early and everyone outside the room is told to move away from the door or keep their voices down.
Some of the mistakes we make would seem to come from an awareness of who we are as Quakers and then the wish to communicate this sense of identity to others. In some cases I feel it would be helpful for our focus to change so that we begin with a thorough appreciation of our guests.
Established Quakers experience a sense of belonging through a shared way of life, clearly understood set of priorities, and language all of our own. There may be an assumption that everyone has the confidence and ability to be like us. Some Meetings for example provide an invitation during notices for newcomers to stand up and introduce themselves. For some, especially if the Meeting is quite large, this could feel like an audition. Although the reason for doing so is not obvious, newcomers are encouraged to sign the visitors book.
At times we would seem to forget that to attend Meetings outside the local area usually requires petrol. When Quakers enthuse about ethical investing and responsible consumerism, perhaps I am not alone in thinking how lucky these particular Friends are to have the means to do this. Although funding is often available for conferences and courses, those most need of help tend to feel least secure and so there might well be a reluctance to ask.
Besides culture, language may also be a problem. Perhaps I am not alone in having wondered for a considerable number of years what a "meetings for Sufferings" might be. It sounded pretty awful, but I didn't like to ask in case some Quaker suggested that I go there! It is possible for even reasonably seasoned Friends to listen to Quaker notices and emerge none the wiser!
Political views may also be a deterrent especially when forcefully put. This not the same thing as plain speaking. What we have here is an opinion. A peace testimony promoted with little regard for those of a different view can seem very aggressive, even hurtful. The more we stamp our identity as a cultural rather than a religious group, the more exclusive we become and so fewer people are likely to feel they belong.
Quaker Meetings can seem like looking at an arrow slit, somewhat threatening if you are not in exactly the right position and considerably easier on the inside.
So how can we encourage people to come and remain as part of our castle? To me this is a matter of going back to basics. Given all the other distractions, we need to remember what a Meeting for Worship is for. Whatever our background, knowledge or experience I believe we are intended to be human beings, gathered together in the silence to listen out for God.
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